I was born in a very strict Baptist family. We wore dresses to church every Sunday, we were not allowed to dance, or cuss, or gamble, or watch much TV. The Charismatic movement came through our little church and the Holy Spirit shook everything up. Suddenly the people I had loved and respected as my Sunday School teachers and other church officials were causing trouble for those who went with the “Holy Rollers”. The entire church split and many of the people I loved dearly were left behind.
Bible studies were held at our house at least once a week. There were some awesome miracles I experienced as well as some frightening experiences (like the “demon possession” cases). My mom went on a rampage to wipe all the demons out of our house, so my sister and I had to burn lots of our beloved toys, books, music, and movies. I felt as if there were demons hiding around every corner waiting to snatch me up. I lived in fear of the “end times” when only some of us would be among those that Jesus took in the rapture.
My childhood religion was filled with fear and guilt (often of things I hadn’t even done). I questioned that often. I thought God was a strict dictator sitting on the throne waiting to see who he could zap and then again the devil was constantly trying to get us too. My beliefs changed as I sought the answers. I finally had experience that showed me the loving side of God. I learned that I had nothing to fear from the devil and his minions because God had given me power over them.
Nevertheless, my beliefs don’t completely conform to most churches. I think that God is much bigger than any one religion. For example, I believe God, the Great Spirit, the Creator, the Universe are all different names for the same being. Each different religious denomination is created for the specific people that need that belief system (none of them are 100% right and all have some things that need to be held on to). Each person has to work out his or her own beliefs.
I have found great comfort and wisdom in the Bible, but I’ve also found nuggets in other readings as well. Many of the things I read and study now days were labeled NEW AGE by my mom. I still struggle with doubt and guilt on occasion because of that, but at the same time, I feel such comfort and such resonance with some of the beliefs that I don’t think I’m straying too far from God. For example, I’ve visited psychics (yes…I’m sure my mom thinks I’ll burn in hell). Some of them I have liked, and some I didn’t. Some I think were connected to something bigger and others I think were just trying to make a dollar. I don’t take every word they have to say as gospel, but since I’m just learning to be in tune with my inner guidance, there are things that they can confirm or expand upon.
Recently, I have really been studying angel card readings. I have been doing them for awhile and I get some AMAZING answers. I’m not always 100% accurate, but I have gotten many readings that give me great clarity or confidence in a particular situation. I have started doing these readings for friends and they are getting comfort as well.
I’m creating this site to share my beliefs with others and I hope that it brings comfort and clarity to others going through this life experience with me. I am not an expert (is anybody really?), but I am constantly learning and I know that I am meant to share some of these things I’m learning. I’m tired of “religious” people hurting others because of their beliefs. It is important for us to be able to listen to the beliefs of others and then decide what pieces of that we want to keep and what should just be left alone. Religion should not be the area of our struggles. I hear more and more often, I’m not religious, but I’m spiritual. While some of my Christian friends take offense at that, I completely relate to that. My beliefs do not fit into any one little religious box. While I most closely align with the protestant Christian religion (more non-denominational than others), I am more than happy to listen to others when they speak about their beliefs. I believe that God can speak through anyone if He wants to get His point across. After all, He spoke through a donkey in the Old Testament story of Balaam. (On another note, I don’t see God as gender specific….I typically say He due to my Baptist raising. If you see God as female, I’m not going to argue.)
So join me on my spiritual quest. I’m going to share with you the things I’m learning (good or bad) and I’d love your comments, questions, even debates. However, everything here will be done in a loving spirit and I will block access to anyone not operating out of a kind place. If you don’t agree, feel free to share your point of view. I will always listen to what you have to say as long as you aren’t attacking me or anyone else. If you can’t express your beliefs kindly, please move on.
